It’s a few years now since I got into genealogy, spending hour upon hour investigating my ancestral line and seeing who died of what and when. Each ancestors birth details would be inputted into my astrological software and I would make notes of things like when they were admitted to the workhouse or the asylum. I jest not, when you start out on this journey you look for news of longevity and many healthy children. What you find – in my case anyway- was nothing like what I expected. It had not took long before I came across tales of complete human suffering, where circumstances had arisen that my ancestors could not escape from. One generation after another on my father’s side in particular,( but also in my mothers – as they matched) had horrendous challenges to overcome, after wondering how they had coped. (I knew they had not as I had their death certificates.) It seemed to me that every one of them had been forced in some way to make impossible decisions. There was always a trade off. If they won in one sense they lost in another. Their emotional wounds became too heavy and they did not last very long after that and died of something physical after having an emotional loss like the death of a child. We know now in our current time that physical health is the outward sign that the emotional nature is not ‘ in harmony’ but these days we don’t then die of a physical problem (disease) like they did in earlier generations.

These days suicide is the biggest killer after having an unresolved emotional issue/series of issues .Seems to me not much has changed and things really are long overdue.Ever since I got into astrology I was blown away how I am re visiting some of my ancestors outstanding, unresolved issues in my own life. Some I know are my mothers (who is old, but not dead) and some are my fathers and some are even as far back as my great gran on his side. This might seem odd to some people but how I came to know this is simple (to me anyway). As I sat with each ones chart up on my astrology app, they would ‘come alive’ through it, I am very sensitive due to my many planets in moons house – the fourth- the roots, the home and the ancestors, they would speak to me, I would feel lost, depressed, forsaken, abandoned, unloved, homeless, beaten or demoralised. As all these overwhelming- moon- fourth house feelings came over me I would sometimes cry whilst using my hands to send Reiki and love to these unfortunate people who passed before me.

As my seven planets are in Pisces in my fourth house, I needed to let go – for the line- going forwards -to release -moon – fourth house -the ancestors- unhealed, unfinished business. This is hard work and many would wonder why I would waste my time, this I can understand, but if I told you that I can tell the difference you may then understand why I have to continue. One relative stands out to me, that’s Bella, my great gran on dads side. I have a lot of her in me. In fact I am her.

I am re doing that life in this day and age as last time things didn’t go so well. At soul level I /Bella are getting the chance to make amends. There is much more to say, to share, as I am not the only one, of that I am sure who is round again, re doing and making amends. This is the wheels of life, it’s like poetry in motion.

I feel grateful that I have her ‘ inside of me’ I can feel her within me -in my fourth house- the ancestors- enabling me, guiding and steering me to do better, to make the right decisions, especially with my children, two of which were also my children in that life.

My role in life is to be the circuit breaker .The one who is here to break the cycle. Thats why I am Kat O Clysmic.